Wednesday, May 8, 2019

Heart break

Photo by Volkan Olmez on Unsplash
"My heart breaks"
she often said.
i wondered what that would feel like
would I feel like a walnut shell cracked open, heart exposed?
or would I feel like a betel nut halved and quartered?

I learned over time
that it feels like
listening to nails being hammered
one by one
sealing in the world
you have boxed yourself in.
no pushing back
no clawing the wall
no crying out for help.
you feel yourself shrink
as if to accommodate
the inevitable
just quietly contemplating
when did I get in here?
how did I let this happen?
what do I do?

you better
believe chrysalis, in transformation
in life after death,
and that no seal, no box, no world
is strong enough
to keep you down when you
decide to rise

one day you catch yourself
humming or thinking of dessert
and you realise that
heart break is a on-demand song
to play
whenever you want
to have a good cry
to get rid of the cobwebs
at bedtime

eventually heartbreak is a bumpy scar
you feel absently
as you breathe in the lovely morning breeze
and watch the bulbuls build their nest
next to the dewy hibiscus welcoming the sun

© 2019 Padmavani Karkera

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