smile precious

Smoldering Fires by Clarence Holbrook Carter


smile precious
remind me
of your hair free
your green sundress
the scent of cinnamon 
between your breasts

smile precious
tell me like  
you did last year
we will last an eternity
this time 
let me see your eyes


smile precious
you are only leaving
to visit your mama
who writes on 
scented stationary 
about your folly in choosing me

smile precious
tickle the little one
you are leaving
this wretched town
tell me
its the town
not me

© 2011 Padmavani Karkera

This image was posted by Tess Kincaid on http://magpietales.blogspot.com/ as her picture prompt (Mag 64). I have submitted this poem to http://onestoppoetry.com/ for their One Shot Poetry Wednesday.

Comments

  1. "tell me
    its the town not me"

    Heartbreak in your final lines. Nice visuals, color, and scent details in the opening. Emotionally charged poem.

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  2. I love your take on the poem Padmavani. You chose to free this woman. I focused on bounds. Inspiring to read your poem. Differences are always so rich. Thanks!

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  3. A very beautiful take on the prompt!
    It is the town not "she".. :)

    Many Hugs xox

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  4. that is a powerful, poignant response to the prompt, thank you

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  5. How unique your response to the prompt, like a mantra, like an onion unpeeling, the beginning of a liberation. Beautiful...

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  6. ha, i like the end...and i hope it is the town...for your sake...smiles.

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  7. Your interpretation of the photo is unique ... I enjoyed this!!

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  8. I love the end Padmavani. Very very emotional, tugging, piognant.

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  9. Lovely emotional poem filled with the angst of a man who is disliked by his mother-in-law, the same woman his wife is leaving to visit. His fear and insecurity are palpable, culminating in the last phrase: tell me it's the town not me. Beautifully written.

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  10. What a fabulous poem. I really like what you have captured here... the knowing of loss, the doubt of a return... the uncertainty of whether or not it is really the person speaking or the life around them.

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  11. Lyrical and lovely. This one must be set to music!

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  12. Lovely write! I like the end too - hope it is the town.

    Anna :o]

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  13. Thank you all so much for writing! Feels so good :)
    Cheers
    Padmavani

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  14. great closure! Loved it. Fine piece

    Luke @ WordSalad

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  15. Hello Steve, hello Luke, Thank you for dropping by and letting me know. Cheers!

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