show me your fear



This one is a audio prompt on http://onestoppoetry.com/ where Brian provides a "cipher, a beat" and allows us to put words to it. Called Friday Poetically – Celebrating Black History Month with Brian Miller. This is my first attempt at Hip Hop...so please bear with my inexperience. Listen to the music when you read the song. The lyrics start off from 0.20 seconds of video.

let me watch
those tears
those fears.
so you hear
my blood sear.
feel the steel?

chin up
let me watch
your neck tip
chocolate river throat's
been bit
feel the steel?

your eyes beautified
now terrified.
no i know
you can't clarify.
this is our deal
a broken seal.

feel the steel?
on this love bite
that isn't mine
no no no don't kneel
you left a mess
i leave it clean.

here's the knife
keep your life.

© 2011 Padmavani Karkera

Comments

  1. Padmavani,

    I haven't been brave enough to try this. Your words work well with the music. I can hear them in my head as they catch the beat. Well-done!

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  2. oh i like this one - can clearly feel the beat..

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  3. Nice venture into a new expression. I think, after seeing this, that I might like to try my hand at it, too.

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  4. very nice...i can hear the beat in your words...great use of rhyme to drive it...

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  5. I love this prompt, so many great writes out there, but for me yours tops the list...
    Well done !

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  6. oh Maureen do give it a shot. I bet you will come up with something brilliant...as always :)

    Claudia, Brian, JL Dodge thank you very much.

    Miriam, do try yes... I found it a fun exercise :)

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  7. You rocked this Padmavani, congratulations on bravery AND success!!

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  8. Wonderful try... love the message.

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  9. i love everything about it ~ with or without the music. wonderful!

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